Aduhai Adik-adik Jururawat Wad 7 Utara, HUSM

Last Chinese New Year when my late mother (May Allah bless her soul) was hospitalized for the 2nd time, I tried to talk to the nurses at the ward's desk (7 Utara to be specific) applying for the Pass to accompany my mother.

One of the nurse replied since 7 Utara is for female patients only female companion could apply for the Pass.

I persuaded her for some exception since I don't have any female siblings in my family.

The nurse responded that it's the Hospital rule & she didn't want to be questioned by the Staff Nurse in charge of the ward for breaking the rule.

OK, I respected her discipline while cursing her in my heart.

Later on, I witnessed the nurses are surfing Facebook using the ward's PC.

My immediate respond was: F**k off with their disciplines & rules...

Compared to
a) Breaking a rule for a son whose accompanying her sick mother,
or
b) Breaking rule by surfing social website using official cum public hospital's cum government's cum duit rakyat's PC,

Which 1 is more severe crime & sin?

Oh sh*t, I'm typing this entry using my office's PC... Oopppss.. Wakaka!

Aside from that: My highest appreciation to doctors, nurses & staff of HUSM.

12.11.1946 - 18.03.2010 (Part 3)

Ma, how are you in the next life?

Ma, how does it feel over there? How are you doing?

Ma, your body is lying alone in your tomb. Are you feeling lonely as much as we do?

Ma, I'm confident that you're doing just fine.

Ma, I'm having faith & pray that

1. your good deeds when you're alive
   
2. your sacrifices giving birth to us & raised us
3. your sacrifices helping Abah feeds us
4. your generosity towards the orphans
5. your generosity towards people less fortunate than us
6. your gesture to honor all guests
   
7. your sacrifices in taking care of grandma
8. your teaching for half of your age

will be rewarded accordingly by Allah & will accompany, widen & light up your tomb.

Furthermore, we will never stop providing you with our prayers so that your tomb is one of the gardens of Eden... Ameen.

Ma, did I tell you that when we were lowering your body down to your tomb - we were blessed with beautiful sprinkle from heaven?

12.11.1946 - 18.03.2010 (Part 2)

Ma, today is the 3rd day.

Ma, the 1st night was the hardest. I could barely slept.

Ma, I knew this moment would come. I just didn't expect it was so soon.

Ma, no matter how much we love you, God loves you more. At least I'm relieved with that.

Ma, we're still grieving on your departure. Not that we can't accept it but only because we're missing you so much.

Ma, I think I understand why Abah refused my offer to accompany him sleeping - 'coz sometimes we need to cry our heart out thus need a moment alone.

Ma, Allah is truly The Greatest. Out of 63 years of your life He only took 3 months of your health. And out of the 3 months, He only took you less than 1 month from home due to hospitalization. And He only took 1 week of your strength.

And finally Ma, He took your life away in a very calm & peaceful second. Though I'm a bit regret that I wasn't there, at least I'm relieved to hear that from Abah. And everything follows run unbelievably smooth...

12.11.1946 - 18.03.2010

My mum is bedridden...

My mum is currently bedridden.

It was the most painful sight of my life.

In my darkest moment, I'm taunted by the question of "WHY?"

Why did this happened? Why my mum? Why? Why? Why?...

And what a grateful memory when I remember my mum used to teach me the story of Prophet Ayyub (aka Job, peace be upon him) who was bedridden due to his illness.

Whose wealth, health & children were stripped of in split second.

Who held fast to his faith, neither shed a tear nor heaved a sigh.

Who remarked that all possessions and families' health were the gifts from Allah. If He had taken His things, it was useless to lament over their loss.

Whose example illustrates: Those who remain patient under the stress - of all circumstances, are never deprived of high rewards.

"And surely we try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and crops, but give glad-tidings to the steadfast, who when a misfortune befalls them, say lo! we are Allah's (possession of Allah) and to Him shall we surely return. · Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly-guided." (2: 155-157)

Bitter Reality

No need to hide that this year I'll reach 30 years of age.

It's not my age that I'm concern about (neither that at 30 I'm still unmarried...).

It's just that I realized that my parents is now in their 60's.

It's a normal human lifespan cycle.

We are just mere mortals.

We grow.

We age.

Our health deteriorate.

Inevitably, our time on this world will come to an end.

And the people we love will no longer around us.

I wish at least that will not happen in this hard times.

Dear God, please give my family some more times together...

'Untimely' Death

Received 2 consecutive news of my old friends' death last weekend (total different situations).

Haven't in contact with both of them for quite number of years, but the news of their untimely deaths were quite shocking - both of them are in early 30's.

'Untimely '... Is it a correct word? Muslims believe that death is a must for everyone & it could happened anytime & was preordained by God.

Perhaps my time is a few seconds, or a few days, or years after this. Could be a hundred years later...

Anyway, it is not a time to mourn their departures.

I believe it's time to mourn on what has been spent on past years & the unknown futures of our (or rather MY) life...