Now Every Idiots Can Fly...

No latest entry for quite some times, due to my beloved mom was hospitalized. So I had to travel back & forth SZB/KUL-KBR-KUL/SZB to visit her.

Since this few weeks I fly quite a lot, this entry is dedicated to the Malaysian way of air travel:

1. When the stewardess/ground staff called for disabled/elderly/traveling-with-small-children passengers to board, almost everybody would rush in. Yes, because we are all disabled - mentally of course...

2. Mobile phone usage is only allowed inside the Terminal Building. Checked.... and f**k off. So what? I pay for my phone bills using my own money! Interference with aircraft navigation system & possible cause of fire? Shove 'em up you a**!

3. For your safety, please follow the designated walkway to the plane. Checked... and also f**k off. I'm in a hurry, otherwise I won't get my seat or worse, the plane would take off without me!

4. Malaysian definition of hand luggage = as long as I can carry/drag it with my hands. When will you learn that size doesn't bloody matter?

5. The window seats are first come first serve basis, not even if your boarding pass has your name on it.

6. When the aircraft has landed, let us all 'give standing ovation' while waiting for the craft hatch to be opened. This is also to exercise our legs after sitting for a while.

7. Let's rush to get out, otherwise our luggage will go home on their own & we have to pay for their taxi/bus/ERL as well.

8. Repeat no. 2 & 3.

9. Of course, the classic habits - take home all items provided during flight (plates, cups, pillows, blankets, etc...). Which is why nowadays the airlines provide disposable plates, cups & rarely provide pillows & blankets. But i heard that every people all around the world did this, not just Malaysians.

Maybe I will set up a new airline company with a tag line:

"Now every idiots can fly!"

BTW: The lady 2nd from left is simply the most gorgeous stewardess I've ever seen. Hehe... Which makes me wonder, is she a stewardess for real or just model for hire?